On my mind this morning…
Well where to start? I’m sad, been knocked down, hurt but I am upright and breathing. I have much to be grateful for.
Life is all about what we make it. I have been through many things that I could use as excuse to just quit. I choose not to. That’s no to say I have not given in but even on those bad days, I have never totally given up. It’s a battle that some will never understand and one that some can absolutely relate to. Lately though, I have been really proud of myself. I have handled everything thrown at me and am still smiling and standing strong. That part of me went dormant for quite some time and it’s good to have it back. This week ….
I’m still struggling but I am all too human. I had to give in and quit being stubborn. I had to choose between pride, stubbornness and reality.
I’ve had to say goodbye to Important people in my life. I’m being grateful for all they added and brought to the table that helped create me.
I have had to face feelings that we’re uncomfortable. That made me want to go back to self medicating and getting lost in a world where I don’t feel anything.
I’ve faced the hurt and reality of a beautiful soul that just couldn’t find their way.
I have accepted that some people are only capable of so much and I have to accept them with that understanding or walk away.
I stood up and put my neck on the line for someone who only betrayed me. I tried to help anyway.
I was kind to someone that makes my heart hard.
I allowed someone in my space and have come to the understanding that it’s ok to have someone help me.
I have not held a grudge or spoke out against something because terrible accidents and acts occured. I have accepted that shit happens. We can’t control everything.
Overall, it has been couple of really rough weeks However, all of the above didn’t get me down. In fact, I am very grateful.
Grateful for the ability to go through these things with open eyes and heart. Grateful for the reminder of how precious time and life really are because I take advantage of things and need those reminders. Grateful for the gentle reminders that everyone ( including those who may not deserve it from me) needs to be loved. I’m really grateful for the beautiful people I call my friends who love me the way I am and will bring things to the table knowing that I need to hear them if I like it or not. True friends.
Life is a beautiful thing. We are surrounded by good people and amazing things. It’s full of ugly but we can choose to see the positive. Learn from our mistakes. Love and accept other people the way they are. We have two choices. We can exist or we can come in sliding sideways enjoying the ride. I’m not settling to just exist ❤️
More Love. Less Hate. H